*peep peep peep*

I couldn’t figure out what or where it was. My son wasn’t home & the noise, sounding suspiciously like baby chickens, was coming from his room. I opened the door to find my old aquarium on his dresser with not chicks, but baby ducks. Two of them. I was instantly pissed. What ever possessed him to think that it would be even remotely ok with me to bring baby ducks into our home? I text him to ask wtf. He called & explained that him, the girl I consider a daughter, & another girl had bought them at Tractor Supply.

“please please please”

“I’m gonna build them a pen, that’s what’s going on in the garage”

Skipping a lot of growling on my part & pleading on theirs, I decided to let the ducks stay. Not because they’re cute, although they are. Not because they’re cuddly, cuz they’re that too. I let them stay because I love the kids that love them, & because I want this to be a positive experience for them, not a failure. I don’t want those ducks shuffled around from place to place until they die. Those kids would feel terrible if that happened. One duck has a physical handicap & I’m still not sure he’s going to survive. I even bought one more duck just in case he doesn’t, because I don’t want the surviving duck to be alone.

Those baby ducks didn’t ask to come here. Now that they are, we, as a family, owe them a safe & comfortable home. Besides, they are pretty darn cute. I know they’re going to be a lot of work, probably more than my son bargained for, but they’re going to be a lot of fun too. I made a very conscious decision to turn this situation into something positive, even though my initial reaction was very negative.

Like most people, when I talk to God I ask for things.

“please help me be patient”

“please help me make good choices”

Out of the Closet
Teresa Avery
Baker College of Cadillac

Out of the Closet

“No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody” (Brown, 1982). America has long been known as the land of the free, safe haven for the oppressed, yet this does not always ring true. Discrimination is still a destructive part of American culture. Discrimination against homosexuality, in particular, is detrimental to the country. Minimizing discrimination against gays would benefit America in several ways. First, allowing homosexuals to legally marry would help stimulate the economy and give stability to same-sex families. Additionally, allowing gays to serve openly in the military would help raise morale, good order, and cohesion in the armed forces. Finally, working to reduce discrimination against gays would make America a safer place to live and work for everyone. Prejudice has no place in the American ideal, and reducing the discrimination against homosexuality will only make the country stronger.

Legalizing Gay Marriage

I do. Two words filled with hope, promise, faith, and love. Yet there is one segment of the American population is still denied these words. In much of the United States, gay and lesbian couples are not allowed to marry. However, there would be three substantial benefits to legalizing same-sex marriage. Legalizing same-sex marriage would bring about a substantial windfall to the marriage and honeymoon industries. It would also be a huge economic boost to both the federal and state governments. Additionally, same-sex marriages would improve the household stability and well-being of children being raised by gay/lesbian couples. Contrary to what many political conservatives would like the public to think, the legalization of same-sex marriage would be an advantage to America, not a handicap.
Weddings are great for the economy. Legalizing gay marriage would bring about a virtual flood of same sex couples eager to tie the knot. Aude Lagorce (2004) of Forbes Magazine says, “We estimate that if the laws were changed, gay couples currently living together would collectively spend $16.8 billion to get hitched.” That doesn’t include honeymoon travel costs, which would bring in much more. According to Christina Valhouli (2006), “The U.S. honeymoon market is currently worth $10 billion annually, with an average cost of $5,111 per honeymoon”. Legalizing same sex marriage would significantly raise the income for both the wedding and honeymoon industries.
In regards to government income, same-sex marriage is a win-win situation. It would bring in taxes and reduce government spending. According to the Congressional Budget Office, “If America’s approximately 600,000 cohabiting homosexual couples tied the knot and the federal government recognized their marriages, the effect on taxes and spending would cut the deficit by $350 million to $450 million annually over the next five years” (The Revenue, 2004). Heath care costs alone account for a big chunk of that figure. Cameron Scott (2007) writes, “Uninsured gays and lesbians, whose health care costs are now paid by the government, join their spouses’ insurance plans. If a third of them do so, federal costs drop by $190 million”. That may be a drop in the federal deficit bucket, but it’s a big drop.
Finally, the legalization of same-sex marriage would better the lives of children being raised by same-sex parents. These children would gain in economic and emotional ways from having parents that are legally married. According to William Meezan and Jonathan Rauch (2005), “Same-sex marriage may benefit children by increasing the durability and stability of their parents’ relationship”. Marriage would also bring about financial benefits for the children. Meezan and Rauch (2005) write, “Marriage may increase children’s material well-being through such benefits as family leave from work and spousal health insurance eligibility. It may also help ensure financial continuity, should a spouse die or be disabled”. That would be a substantial advantage for children being raised in this economy.
The gay-lesbian community is fighting an uphill battle to be allowed legal marriage in the United States, but the advantages of winning the battle are well worth the fight. A boon in the wedding and honeymoon industry will help stimulate the economy. Government spending and income will both be beneficially influenced. Furthermore, legalized same-sex marriage would bring about enhanced financial and emotional stability for children being raised by same-sex partners. It’s time for America to say “I do” to same-sex marriage.

Homosexuals in the Military

The American military has a dirty little secret. In 1993, the Clinton Administration issued Defense Directive 1304.26, which later became known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue, Don’t Harass”. These regulations are known today simply as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, and essentially they bar the military from asking service members or applicants about their sexual orientation, and bar applicants or service members from disclosing whether they are gay or lesbian. These regulations came about in response to Sec. 654 of the armed forces law, “Policy concerning homosexuality in the armed forces”, which demands that any personnel determined to be gay or lesbian or who has participated in homosexual activities be discharged from the military. The law cites three reasons for these regulations, stating that, “The presence in the armed forces of persons who demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability” (Office of the Law Revision Counsel, 2010). These arguments were not convincing when the law was passed, and they are not convincing now. Instead of being beneficial to our troops, the law and regulations have achieved the opposite of what they were supposed to do.
Requiring enlisted gays and lesbians to be deceptive about their sexual orientation is damaging to the morale of the military. Homosexuality is more widely accepted now than ever before. According to Jonathan Hopkins (2010), “In the most recent Gallup survey of American attitudes toward gays in the military, every demographic broadly supports gays serving openly. Among 18-year-olds to 29-year-olds — who make up the vast majority of the military force — support for overturning the current policy is at 79 percent.” Soldiers who are required to lie about who they really are being asked to go against all that the military teaches about honesty and integrity. Hopkins (2010) states, “Some gay members of the Armed Services suffer from depression because they try to deal with being all they can be at work, but are unable to live a life that could make them happy.” By demanding that the military not ask about sexual orientation and applicants not to disclose homosexuality, the law is actually requiring a non prejudiced group of people to behave in a prejudiced way, and that itself is damaging to morale.
The risk to good order and discipline does not come from allowing homosexuals to serve in the military, but from the law banning them from doing so. Repealing these regulations will help keep trained, prepared personnel on the job. During Joint Chiefs of Staff testimony, Senator Levin stated, “Dozens of Arabic and Farsi linguists have been forced out of the military under “don’t ask, don’t tell,” at a time when our need to understand those languages has never been greater” (Testimony regarding DOD, 2010). Additionally, it has been estimated that as many as 13,000 U.S. troops have been discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Active duty infantry Captain Tim Hsia (2010) remarks, “When competent professionals are being forced to leave the service because of their sexual orientation it is an enormous waste of government resources. Taxpayers and the military reap little to no return on the investment that has been made them, especially if they have undergone specialized training such as language skills or flight school.
Good order and discipline mean competent, skilled troops, and discharging service men or women based on sexual orientation undermines those goals.”
The negative effect on unit cohesion has been the main argument against allowing homosexuals to serve in the military. Yet 25 other countries allow openly gay or lesbian personnel to serve in their militaries with no problems. The Government Accountability Office studied four countries, Canada, Israel, Germany and Sweden, in depth and reported, “Military officials … [said] the presence of homosexuals in the military is not an issue and has not created problems in the functioning of military units” (Katel, 2009). Many serving in the armed forces in the United States see no problem with gays serving. “We knew of [gay] men in our unit, or kind of had suspicions,” says Iraq veteran Rep. Murphy, “but as long as they could do the job, fire their M-4 rifle, stand guard at 4 in the morning, lead a convoy at 2 in the afternoon in high heat and bring the guys home alive — that’s what we cared about.” (Katel, 2009)
In this day and age, team cohesion and camaraderie will not suffer solely because of the sexual orientation of one or more of its members. The United States military is formed of men and women who are trained to work as a team regardless of age, race, sex, or religious ideals, and are also fully capable of performing as a team regardless of sexual orientation.
It’s time for the laws banning homosexuals from serving in the military to be repealed. Moral objectives to homosexuality are at an all time low, therefore allowing gays and lesbians to serve in the armed forces would not affect morale within the troops. Order and discipline in the military would be improved by allowing already trained gay or lesbian troops to remain at their positions. American military troops are highly trained to be open minded of age, race, sex, and religious ideals, and unit cohesion will not suffer from the presence of homosexuals in the group. The U.S. military needs to stop keeping its dirty little secret.

Equal Rights for All

America is, beyond a doubt, a good place to live. However, it can be better. Reducing discrimination against the gay population in America would help the country become a better place in several ways. First, it would be a step forward in securing human rights for all people in the country. Next, it would help reduce violence towards gays. Lastly, less discrimination against homosexuals would mean more job security for the gay American population. Discrimination should not be part of America, and getting rid of discrimination against gays will help the country become a better place to live.
America prides itself on being a world leader on human rights, yet it still faces problems at home, particularly when it comes to its homosexual population. Discrimination against gays goes against what the term “human rights” stands for. Carlos A. Ball (2002), a law professor at the University of Illinois, states that, “heterosexist societies such as America’s deny lesbians and gay men not only their basic rights as citizens, but also their basic rights as human beings”. Discrimination against gays is often compared to past discrimination against blacks and women in America. Gays face many of the same struggles that blacks and women faced in gaining equality in the eyes of the law. Ball (2002) says, “It was only when women were viewed as fully human (as haying the capability to reason and to make intelligent decisions about their lives and their futures) that society granted them the right to vote as well as the opportunity to seek happiness and fulfillment outside as well as inside the home. It was only when African Americans were viewed as fully human that society granted them meaningful access to the most basic civil rights. Similarly, it is only when lesbians and gay men are finally viewed as fully human that they will be offered the opportunity to participate in institutions such as marriage and parenting that are meant to account and provide for the basic capacities of human beings in the areas of physical and emotional intimacy.” Working to lessen discrimination against the gay/lesbian community would be a big step in securing human rights for all people in America.
Violence in America continues to rise, including violence against members of the gay community. According to the Anti-Defamation League, eleven states currently have laws against hate crimes based on sexual orientation (ADL, 2001). Being gay in America can be dangerous. The National Center for Victims of Crime (2001) reports,
Although the prevalence of anti-gay and lesbian violence is not fully known on a national scale, studies are providing detailed statistics on its possible extent:
• Anti-gay and lesbian incidents increased 8 percent from 1999 to 2000. Serious injuries resulting from these incidents decreased by forty-one percent.
• In 1999, the FBI reported that there were 1,317 incidents of violence based on sexual orientation. Of those, anti-male homosexuality violence characterized sixty-nine percent of the incidents.
• Approximately one-half of perpetrators are age twenty-one or younger.
• A campus survey reported that 61 percent of the gay/lesbian respondents feared for their safety as their orientation would be used as a reason for violence.
Less discrimination historically means less violence. Reducing discrimination against homosexuals would make America a safer place.
Discrimination against gays in the workplace remains an issue for many homosexuals in America. This practice hurts the nation’s workforce and puts qualified workers on the unemployment line. After the June, 2010 firing of a Mississippi corrections officer, Joshua Block (2010) of the ACLU wrote that, “in most parts of the country, people who work for private companies do not have any protection from anti-gay discrimination”. That means that a worker can be fired solely for being gay. This is true also for some public jobs. In October of 2010, Seth Stambaugh, a student teacher at a Portland, Oregon elementary school was fired for coming out to his students. Michael Jones (2010), editor of Change.org and former Communications Director for the Human Rights Program at Harvard Law School tells us, “apparently, in the Beaverton School District, just saying that you may want to marry someone of the same gender could get you removed from the classroom”. This discrimination caused a man to lose his job and students to lose their teacher.
America is a country beloved by it citizens but in need of a change. Discrimination against homosexuals violates their civil rights. It also tolerates and perhaps even encourages violence against the gay/lesbian community. Furthermore, discrimination against gays causes individuals, sometimes well educated and trained, to lose their jobs based entirely on their sexual orientation. Reducing discrimination against homosexuals would greatly reduce these problems, and make America a better place to live.

Conclusion

Discrimination against gays in America is damaging to the country, and reversing this discrimination would bring about several benefits. Allowing gays to legally marry would bring about an economic boost to the country and stabilize families with same-sex households. The military would gain moral, good order and cohesion by allowing homosexuals to serve openly. Less discrimination against the gay/lesbian community would make a safer living and working environment for them. It’s time for America to really become the land of the free; it’s time for America to end its prejudice against homosexuality.

Justin: “Did Teresa pick that up for you?”
Resa: “No, Stacey did, I’m Teresa.”
Justin (laughing): “I knew that.”

Resa: “why is he being retarded?”

Bo: “he’s looking out the window at nothing”

Resa: “maybe he sees a bug, or a bird, or a frog, or even a leaf”

Bo: “a leaf? yeah… retarded”

Resa: “imagine if you’ve lived your whole life inside and never got to even touch or play with a leaf, wouldn’t you be curious?”

My son then goes outside and comes back in a minute later.

Resa: “where did you go?”

Bo “I got Kasey a leaf”

The cheerleader conversation came a few weeks later. I was hanging burned off racks, a dirty ashy job. Brian was working close by and remarked about what a great job I was doing. I was cranky and snapped at him that I didn’t need a damn cheerleader. He replied “I’ll be the biggest cheerleader you’ve ever had in your life.”
He was right.

Brian was the rebel son of a fallen minister turned motivational speaker. When we met he was living in a transition house, between jail & the free world. I never saw him angry, violent, or discouraged. He taught me all the little sayings I use to keep myself going. “Fake it till you make it.” “You do what you gotta do till you can do it better.” “Let go, let God.” He’s the one that taught me that the only glue I need to hold myself together is… myself. He encouraged me to go after a different job, & showed me that I was competent enough to manage a vacation out of state without another adult. He also made me realize that everyone needs a cheerleader once in a while. I try to do that, to encourage people & help them believe in themselves. Sometimes I still need someone to do that for me. I would not be the “me” that I am today if I had never met him.

I haven’t seen Bri in a little over 3 yrs. I have a few pictures, one treasured note, and the knowledge that he’s doing great wherever he ended up. His last words to me were “You can do this”.
He was right…